Adding In, Cutting Out

I love that the new year brings a fresh start for many—a chance to start a new goal or focus on a resolution—sure, I know these can start any time in any month of the year, but there is something inspiring about the clean slate of January. And even more than liking new goals, I'm a person who admires the spirit of "kaizen," or continuous improvement.

In business, kaizen means you're always looking at processes, ideas, and structures, even the ones that work beautifully, to improve and smooth things without taking them offline. In my personal life, I strive to implement the spirit of kaizen by living my life to the fullest while always looking at how I can elevate my thoughts, improve my relationships, and strengthen my spirituality and optimism. This year is no different, and rather than making hard-and-fast goals, my kaizen quest involves improvement through adding some things in, and paring some things out.

As I look at what I'd like to reduce in my life, it's the negative noise and chatter of the world. I know it's important to live in the world and understand it well, but for me, I need to check that balance because so much of the media is polarizing and negative. Those of you who know me well know that I'm a long-time news junkie. But believe it or not, I've turned off my talk radio in favor of classical music. I've stopped watching the steady stream of cable news and replaced it with good books and very selective shows that have a positive message. (Hint: The jury is out on the season's newest judges, but you KNOW I'll be watching American Idol!) In the past month or so, since I began "cutting out," I can feel my stress level drop and my ability to listen rise. I feel like I'm more receptive to the needs of my family, a better listener to colleagues at work, and most importantly, I'm more open to the promptings of the spirit.

Which brings me to what I'm trying to add IN to my life. Many of you know that my Christian values are at my core. The gospel guides me and gives me comfort and direction no matter the hardship I am facing. I believe my Savior loves and knows me personally and without that connection I would be lost. I cherish my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and this year, I am adding a heightened dose of daily personal scripture study. I've also begun listening to the audio dramatizations of the Old Testament and I am growing to love and know these characters—from Esther to Elijah!--like they were my own family. My church has a website replete with video and printed messages on a variety of inspiring topics from patience to service that I'm treasuring.

Additionally, I'm seeking improvement through enlightenment in other areas. There is an app that I love from "The Secret." It offers a daily message that I can't wait to read each day on my iPad. It just starts my day off on a strong, bright note. And finally, although this may sound crazily simple, I am working to elevate my life through more laughter. I've always been a natural "laugher," able to see the humor in a good joke or a silly YouTube video or a wacky story from one of my co-workers. But I'm going to do it MORE, because I know that laughter heals, helps, and is absolutely contagious! I find myself seeking situations where I can laugh, whether that's surrounded by dear friends, taking in a little comedy, or watching streamed NetFlix videos while I'm on the treadmill at home—my favorites are the '60s romantic comedies. A little Doris Day or Cary Grant can really put a smile on your face!

Now, all of this isn't to say that I'm ignoring the challenges of the economy or those in need of my service or charity. I know there are storms, and devastation, and unrest and political turmoil at home and across the globe. But I also truly, deeply believe that I will be the best steward of strength for others if I focus on what is positive and beautiful. That's my kaizen quest for 2013. What are you adding in, cutting out, and working to improve in 2013? Wishing you well always on your quest for greater happiness!

Finding the Gift

It's Christmas, and retailers would tell you that it's been Christmas for more than a month now, with specials happening online, festive bargains in stores, and holiday music blasting in every aisle for weeks. I actually love the merriment and fun of shopping during the season. However, over the past few years, I've really simplified my Christmas celebrations, from gift exchanging to decorating. I've found that without loads of trappings, ribbons and tags, boxes, packages and tags, that Christmas comes, just the same (with a nod to Dr. Seuss). And not only does it come, it STAYS.

I find that I'm more focused on Christ, his miraculous birth and his glorious mission on earth. I spend less time hanging lights and more time looking at the stars. I shop simply, but spend more time with family laughing, playing games, just being together.

I hope you enjoy whatever brings you joy this Christmas season, including the silver bells and power shopping. But my wish for you is that you also have an opportunity to savor the season, reflecting on Christ's birth and his gift to each of us: repentance and eternal life. No gift could be better!

Wishing you a Christmas day of joy, peace, and the comfort that only Christ can bring.

Reflecting on Children

Yesterday, I posted an anecdote about my love of grandchildren—what a vital, sweet, elevating part of my life they are. I wrote the post several days ago, scheduled it, and only read it again yesterday when it went live.

In the context of the tragedy of the elementary school shooting last week, I felt the love of my grandchildren—and really, the sweetness of ALL children—that much more poignantly. Like most of you, I have cried and cried tears of anguish for those grieving parents, their young siblings who may not yet understand death, and the grandparents whose arms will ache with emptiness. In the days since, I have followed the news stories of heroism and loss, and I've seen the sweet faces of those innocents so cruelly and senselessly taken.

It has made me all the more grateful for children, every single one of them, not just those in my life. Children are the uniting bond, the common language of possibility and purity, that we all share. I have longed to have Sophia climb on my lap all the more, or to to have Mason tell me a silly joke, or to cuddle baby Milo and squeeze his cheeks as he giggles. Children are a mirror to us all, of what we once were and that we will go on.

I pray for those reeling from loss at this time and hope that my prayers, combined with yours, might bring a tender mercy of comfort or peace to them. I pray that they might find faith in our Savior, whose birth we will mark next week, who died that we might live. I do believe that families are forever and that the sting of death, however bitter, is a temporary one and that those lost will someday know sweet reunion with those who love them so very much. Until that day when we are all reunited with loved ones who have left this earth, I plan to do my part to hug the children in my life more tightly, protect them more fiercely, and tell them that I love them each and every day. Every child deserves that.

Thanks for all things--big and little

It's time for Thanksgiving, and as ever, my heart is brimming with gratitude. I'm so grateful for the big blessings in my life: the knowledge that my Savior lives and loves me, the beauty of the earth around me, and  the opportunity to live in a free land. But I'm also grateful for the little things: a quiet moment in my office just to decompress and reflect on the day. An absolutely fireball orange sunset in the west to light my way home. And finger smudges. Yes, finger smudges.

Check out the photo below—it's something I'm so full of love and appreciation for, I can't bring myself to clean up this little mess.

The slippery, smudgy fingerprints belong to my grandson JJ, who had just finished a Creamsicle followed by whirling like a tornado around the main floor of my home. He squealed, gleefully, to a stop right at the window and braked with his sticky hand on the glass. I've been staring at that smudge for a couple of days now, and instead of feeling like I need to wipe it clean, I felt like I needed to take a photo of it. To keep it always and remind me that the little things are really the big things to be grateful for. When I look at that smudge, I'm grateful to have people in my life that I love dearly—messy, interesting, whirling, tornadoes of children and their parents, whom I love just as much.

Messy dishes, messy windows, messy anything is the by-product of love. And I rejoice at every wonderful person who is in my life, from my longtime friends, to my trusted colleagues, to the Consultants I admire, to my kind husband, loving children, and beautiful grandchildren who remind me every day that the littlest blessings can truly be the biggest.

May you celebrate this time of Thanksgiving and make it last much longer than a day. My best wishes for your happiness, and that you are surrounded by blessings big and small!

Let Your Voice Be Heard

I've never made it a secret that I love the United States of America. It is our very diversity of opinions, religions, ethnicities, careers, values, pursuits and passions that unites us: our differences bond us together, as counterintuitive as it may seem.

We don't need to agree. And we don't need to argue. But in this country, we are welcome to speak. Our government encourages us to speak; it NEEDS us to speak in order to function.

Over the past several months, we've been deluged with information, confrontation, and education all leading to an extraordinary opportunity: the chance to decide. In just a few short days, we will choose a president. What an important, even sacred, duty I consider it. Thousands have died to give us this gift. Citizens of many other countries will never know what it feels like to punch a ballot. So, even if you're weary of all the campaigning, dig deep to become informed, say a prayer, hold your head high, and participate. Let your voice be heard and vote on November 6.

I'll be standing in line behind you. On this day, we're all behind you. United we stand!

Long May It Wave

The national anthem has been on my mind as the fourth of July arrives once again. This song is sung by young and old alike, to kick off baseball games, before fireworks displays, in church services, and at community fairs. The tune is familiar and catchy, and sometimes I think we sing along without really pondering the words.

This year, as we consider an upcoming election to decide the future president and other leaders of our country, I realize just how important the United States flag is—what it represents in terms of our past, our solidarity, our purpose, and our hope for the future of this great nation.

I try to envision Francis Scott Key as he penned the lyrics to the song after rejoicing that the oversized flag had withstood the British bombardment of Fort McHenry in 1814. The flag had been sewn from more than 400 yards of fabric, as Major George Armistead had asked for a flag "so big the British would have no trouble seeing it from a distance."

That it still waved despite a long night of turmoil and assault filled Key with inspiration that became the basis for our national anthem.

In our day, I feel there are many forces that threaten to assault our liberty. To shoot holes in the freedoms we hold dear. To stir turmoil and tear asunder the very fabric of our unity. But I also believe, passionately, firmly, and with every particle of my being, that the right will prevail. That if we choose wisely, work tirelessly, and commit unwaveringly, that in the still dawn, our ideals will yet be intact. It's a big dream—one so big, we can ALL see it in the distance. And it is my hope and prayer that on this Independence Day we give thanks for those who fight for our liberties (so long ago and right now, too). I hope you join me in covering my heart with my hand in reverence to our flag, our shared symbol of our UNITED states. Long may it wave.

Mother's Day Made To Order!

Happy Mother's Day + one! Yesterday, I was so busy relaxing (is that possible?) and enjoying time with my family, that I neglected to put up a post. But I love Mother's Day because it gives me an opportunity to celebrate the important women in my life and to thank them for pouring their energies, love, and prayers into me and my family.

I've long believed that you don't have to deliver a baby to be a mother, but that ALL women, by their very nature, "mother." We mother those we listen to, support, and show kindness to. I believe that making the world turn requires a soft hand just as much as a muscled arm, and women seem to be uniquely equipped to provide that softness.

Yesterday was really a Mother's Day made to order for me—Ashley did all the cooking, so I didn't have to fuss in the kitchen one bit. She made delicious enchiladas, salsa, and even homemade guacamole. Cutting jalapeños made her cry off her makeup, and I wasn't wearing any makeup at all, so we declared the day a "no photo zone." Just memories today, no photos!

Aubrey and Rachel gave me a beautiful bouquet of pink roses, Jared and Leslie and their children delivered hand-made cards (the best gift EVER) along with lovely pink blossoms, and I was in absolute heaven.

My sweetheart David was by my side the entire day—as he has been for more than two decades—and I am so grateful for him. He's an absolutely wonderful grandpa, more silly and energetic than any of the kids, and he abounded in sweet deeds for me and of course, more flowers!

I hope you spent your day telling the women in your life how much you love them—and receiving the love they sent your way, too!

So Very Thankful

I read a quote recently that impressed me: "The pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have ever been so impoverished as these, who, nevertheless, set aside a day for thanksgiving." (attributed to H.U. Westermayer)

What does this say to me? Despite the various hardships and uncertainties of life, there is so much to be grateful for. If we will follow the lead of our ancestors--our founding fathers who fought for liberty, the pioneers and pilgrims who pursued new freedoms, our own parents and grandparents who dreamed of a better life--we must be grateful people. We honor their legacy when we find real, abiding gratitude for the lives we lead and the land we live in and the bounties that truly are ours.

Like many of you, I'm looking forward to this day and a nice long weekend. I plan to spend it surrounded by extended family, home-cooked meals, and perhaps a movie or two and a little shopping. I'm grateful for the downtime and family time, definitely! But I know that Thanksgiving is more than turkey and time off.

This is a hallowed day for me to bend my knees, bow my head, and humbly thank my creator. I owe Him my gratitude: for the life I lead, the people I love, and yes, even the challenges I face. They all define me and refine me.

My heart is so full of gratitude, today and the other 364 days of the year. Thank YOU for being a part of my journey and allowing me to be a part of yours. May your Thanksgiving be a day of joy, celebration, and gratitude that lasts in your heart all year through!

Finding Light after Loss

Question: I have a personal question that I think many women would benefit from the answer. How did you pick yourself up from a terrible time in your life and start on your journey to create CTMH, instead of wallowing in the sadness? I know so many women who get stuck and can't find their way out, even with faith. I would love to know how you made your way through the fog. --submitted by Crafty Texan, August 29, 9:22 am

Answer: Wow. This question has so many layers, and I wish I could address them all because I know so many women struggle with heartbreak, loneliness, and hardship and are looking for light but may feel lost. For simplicity and space purposes, I'll share just some of my brief thoughts.

First, as context: for those of you who do not know my story, there was a time in my twenties when I found myself single and with two children. The fledgling company I had started had been taken from me and I literally had little more than a shoebox of materials and just a few dollars in my wallet. I had never dreamed I would be in such a position. It was a scary time…but it was also a time of great blessings, bonding with my children, and being given strength I only imagined possible.

How did I move past the initial fears, uncertainty, and shock of that time instead of getting "stuck"? Well, if you know me, then you know I am not a natural "wallower." But I DO believe in giving yourself appropriate time to process a loss — as human beings, we must have time to grieve or cry or shake our fists, or the pain just gets buried and follows us around like a cloud, waiting for a downpour when we're least prepared for it.

During this hardship, I gave myself a defined length of time to feel sad. To cry. And then, I told myself, I would be done with it. I had children to provide for. Food to put on the table. And I needed to prove to myself and the world that I could not be discarded, that I had value.

This same approach has benefitted me again and again, personally and professionally. If I have a challenge at work, I give myself an hour to be frustrated — then I'm done and ready to move forward. If someone has deeply hurt my feelings, I'll allow myself a day to let it sting — then I'm refreshed and won't harbor it. I really believe that acknowledging pain, giving it an inch but not a mile, is the only way to stay emotionally healthy and well. I regularly paraphrase Scarlett O'Hara to say that "tomorrow will be another day" — and it will be a day where I choose to put setbacks or hurt or fear behind me, because there is much to do.

That's always been my approach, and it saved me during the life-changing events of my twenties. Even so, I will tell you that I couldn't have done it by myself. I was single, but never alone. My reliance on my Heavenly Father and willingness to give Him my sorrow gave me comfort then, and gives me comfort today.

Easter blessings

I love this time of year. Not only is the earth renewing itself--it seems
the blossoms on the trees have just EXPLODED this week!--but I feel a
sense of deep gratitude and renewal,too. With each hopeful tulip bud or
each green shoot from a crocus, I am reminded that life is a gift, that
life renews, and that life is eternal because of the atoning sacrifice
made by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Because of His death--and life--I have the promise to live again,
surrounded by those I love. I believe in that promise with all my heart
and it truly guides my actions and prayers daily. What great comfort it
gives me to celebrate Easter, to remember His suffering in Gethsemane, His
pain on the cross, and ultimately His rising again in triumphant life.
Everything about the earth at Eastertime seems to join the resounding
chorus that out of the cold and darkness of winter comes the beauty of new
life, new hope. He died to rescue me from the cold and darkness of sin. I
believe. I know. And because I know, I rejoice.

May your Easter celebrations similarly fill you with peace and joy.
Wishing you blessings now and all through the year!

Happiest of New Years!

Welcome 2011! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and had plenty of opportunities to hug those you love and celebrate your blessings. I know I did! I have a ton of memories and just as many photos—however, my son Jared was "our holiday photographer" and without warning he took his cute little family and his camera, off to Disneyland. So you’ll just have to take my word for it.

I love the new year and the chance it brings to revisit personal goals and to look forward with faith and optimism. And I DO feel optimistic and excited for the coming year! Next week, we’ll be holding our Team Builders Conference in Salt Lake City. My teams are putting final touches on presentations, creative projects, and even some last-minute surprises that I think attendees will be excited to hear about. And for those who can’t attend but are eager to hear all about our product strategies, upcoming events, and even some of our exciting compensation plan proposals, don’t worry, there will be plenty of communication in the coming weeks for you to learn all about it! 2011 is definitely going to be a magical year and I’m so glad to be a part of it!

And while I’m sharing thoughts on goals and optimism, I hope you don’t mind my sharing a personal goal of mine that I’ve made progress on in the past year. For some time, I’ve been working to lose weight—a pretty common goal for many of us, right? I decided to make 2010 MY YEAR to invest in myself and my health, and just by making sensible decisions and being consistent with exercise, sleep, and all those other good choices we busy people tend to forgo, I have lost 45 pounds. Even though I have more to go, I love the way I feel and the energy I have. It’s wonderful! If you’ve been “waiting” to make a change, and it doesn’t matter what it is—losing weight, starting an exercise program, reinvigorating your Close To My Heart business, learning a new skill or returning to school—I’m here to tell you that the investment is WORTH IT! As I used to tell my children, “You can do hard things.” And when you do, you will find rich rewards for your effort. Here’s to a joyful 2011!

Peace

It’s Christmas Eve—I love this day. It’s bursting with anticipation, but also sweet with reverence. Children are working overtime to be good; parents are working overtime to be patient. We’re all just a little kinder, a little warmer, a little more hopeful.

Today, the stresses of work pale against new fallen snow. The worries of the world seem a million miles away when family is near. And conflict, strife, and uncertainty—three constants in our lives today—take a holiday. A brief, wonderful holiday where we can focus on joy. Where we can focus on Him. Where we can focus on peace.

May you enjoy this day of peace, and may we all endeavor to do as Charles Dickens wished, to “honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all year.”

Faith and Frittatas

Last week, my church held a Christmas breakfast attended by literally HUNDREDS of church members...and I was responsible for the food! As daunting a challenge as it may seem, it was also really rewarding and so much fun. We had bowls of delicious strawberries and bananas, a cereal bar for the kids, and fabulous frittatas that were as easy as they were delicious. My committee was hustling to keep everything full, fresh, and moving. I even enjoyed my time cleaning the kitchen!

After everyone finished eating, we had a delightful Christmas program and I was reminding what great talent we have—wonderful singing voices, great storytellers. It was truly a spiritual experience, and one that also brought me closer to my friends. We share so much more than a neighborhood!

And in case you’d like to include the frittatas in your holiday celebrations, I’ve provided the recipes. Trust me, they’re egg-cellent!

EASY HOLIDAY FRITTATA
3/4 bag of 24 oz. frozen hash browns (grated are best)
1 cube butter
1 1/2 cup cubed ham
1 cup Swiss cheese
1 cup cheddar cheese
1 cup milk
6 large eggs

Lightly spray 9 X 13 baking dish.  Place potatoes in the bottom of pan and lightly salt and pepper. Slice butter over the potatoes. Bake at 375 fro 12 to 15 minutes and remove.  Sprinkle ham and cheese over potatoes.  Mix eggs and milk and pour over other ingredients.  Bake for 40 minutes. Cool slightly and serve. *Note if baking after it has been in fridge overnight allow for longer baking time.
Optional:  Slice tomatoes over the top of casserole and let bake last 20 minutes.
 

Breakfast Fritatta:
1 lb. sausage, browned
12 eggs, beaten
1 cup evaporated milk
3 cups milk
2 tsp. dry mustard
1 tsp. salt
8 slices white bread, crusts removed and cubed
2 cups grated cheddar cheese

Place sausage, bread and cheese in 9 X 13 pan. Combine rest of ingredients and pour over sausage, bread and cheese in pan.  Cover and refrigerate overnight.  Bake uncovered at 350 for 45 minutes to 1 hour.

If You Love Them, Tell Them

My heart has been full lately--full of thoughts, sadness, gratitude, and love. Let me tell you why. We have some dear friends and neighbors; people I’ve known for nearly 20 years. We’ve visited with this family at church. Our children have grown up together, been close friends, gone to school together. We've spent much time talking over the years—about deep things, about silly things, about life.

And on Saturday, my friend buried her husband after his long battle with cancer. Not three weeks earlier, her beautiful daughter passed away as well, following an unexpected, brief illness. Her sweet daughter was just 26 years old; she and my son Jared were inseparable in grade school through high school and he even spoke at her funeral. It has made the weight of mortality and the fleeting nature of life so very real and persistent.

My heart has broken with these losses. Sometimes, the pain I feel for my friend and her family has been almost unbearable. And yet, as I talk with her, I also feel a flood of peace as sure and strong as any I have ever known. There is great love in this family—great love for each other, great love for their Savior, and great faith that the Lord has a plan for us.

Over the past month, my emotions have been on a rollercoaster, but every time the ride stops I am filled with deep, abiding gratitude. I have a wonderful family. They mean the world to me. And more than that, they KNOW they mean the world to me. And should we be separated by death, I believe—I KNOW—that we will be reunited.

On Saturday morning, our church held its annual Christmas breakfast (stay tuned for a blog post about that event, too!). At first, it felt a little odd to be whipping up frittatas and caroling with neighbors and celebrating, knowing that in just a few short hours, the membership would be convening for a somber funeral. But as I watched the children gleefully climbing on Santa’s lap, and parents chatting with each other, and families bonding over holiday traditions, I realized that the two events belong on the same day. They are both honoring life, family, and the rich blessings we have been given. They both reminded me of the beauty of this season, when we remember the birth of Christ—born to redeem mankind, born to rescue us from the bonds of death, born to bless us with life everlasting.

So to those we’ve lost, I won’t say goodbye, just “until we meet again.” And to those I’m blessed enough to be surrounded by this Christmas: I’ll hug you a little tighter. I’ll tell you “I love you” one more time. You already know it...but I’m going to make sure.

I Will Always Remember

The other night, I was unwinding before bed by surfing on my iPad. I happened upon this video, which initially made me curious, then mesmerized, then tearful. Actually, I didn’t just cry, I wept! I was so full of pride, joy, and hope for the country I call home.

At a time when I worry with concern about this great nation, I am grateful to see people stand to honor and respect what it stands for. I am cheered to know that people are teaching their children the importance of our freedoms and the sacrifice generations have made to secure them. And I hope that you, like me, find yourself standing with your hand over your heart by the end of the video. Let us all remember what makes this country great as we prepare to celebrate Independence Day!

Easter Blessings

I love this day! It gives me peace unlike any other day of the year. I feel so grateful for the knowledge that I have a divine savior, and my belief that He knows me individually, that He loves me and that He lives. There is a song that I love, “I Know That My Redeemer Lives.” All the verses are beautiful, but one has always made my heart swell:

He lives, my kind, wise, heavenly friend,
He lives and loves me to the end
He lives, and while He lives I’ll sing
He lives, my prophet, priest, and king.

There is much to sing about today—I’ll be singing, and I hope you will, too, for your beliefs, your blessings, and the wonderful peace it brings.

Downloading Inspiration

One of my favorite things about having an iPhone is that it keeps me connected to the world's happenings. I subscribe to a number of newsletters and feeds, and it's so handy to stay up-to-date on industry trends or breaking news just by grabbing my iPhone from my purse. This morning, I read an article that perhaps wasn't breaking news, but it sure will headline my day. I thought I'd share it with you:

"Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount‹that is the measure of God's love for you." God does not look on the outward appearance (see 1 Samuel 16:7). I believe that He doesn't care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He love us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely." --Dieter F. Uchdorf

Sometimes, perhaps we all get caught up in news feeds, blog posts, stock tickers, bulletin boards, and other bits and bytes of data floating by the screens of all the gadgets in our lives. Most of that information is important. Sometimes it's essential. This was a bit of essential information today for me and it's completely brightened my snowy day and provided yet another reminder of why I'm here. I hope it's brightened your day, too!

My Country, My Heart

My country ‘tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty
Of thee I sing.

And I will sing: I’ll sing the praises of this great country; I’ll sing songs of thanksgiving for those who have sacrificed everything for freedom; I’ll sing prayers for those who govern and protect it; I’ll sing whispers of hope for each of us who love and believe in this sweet land of liberty.

How I love this day! It’s my favorite holiday of the year— in some ways better than every other holiday rolled together. It’s more than the Fourth of July—it’s Independence Day. INDEPENDENCE. It means freedom, choice, individuality—aren’t those the most important things in the whole world? Aren’t they worth fighting for? Aren’t they worth celebrating?

There are only a few things that will bring tears to my eyes—I guess you could call them the “three Cs”: my children, my Consultants, and my country. I care about each of these three so very much; in them are my dreams, my responsibility, and my greatest hopes. I pray for each of them nightly, and celebrate them in different seasons: birthdays for my children, Conventions and events for Consultants, and Independence Day for America. With each passing year, I become increasingly aware of my blessings as a United States citizen, and I love to focus my energies of the day on my gratitude.

At the Lynton family, we start the day early by heading to the route of the parade, one of the largest of its kind in the country. We wave our flags and salute our military veterans, wave at marching bands, and by the end, we’re all grinning and humming the national anthem. How I love to put my hand over my heart! During the anthem, I find I stand a little taller and sing a little louder; I can’t help myself!

The afternoon is family time, and what could be more priceless than that? As the day cools, we gather for a barbecue and conversation. The kids play games in the yard until dusk, when we always enjoy the fireworks together. By the time the last bomb has burst in mid-air, my eyes have welled with tears. I’m so grateful for this country and the promise it holds. I pledge more than my allegiance—I pledge my heart.

So Grateful

Today, I thought I’d just post a small message with a big sentiment behind it: I’m so grateful for this day. I love Easter; I love its beauty and the promise of new life it brings. I recognize that we all have different beliefs and different religious affiliations. I respect and appreciate them all. So, I hope you won’t mind that I voice my personal gratitude for Easter and all it symbolizes. Because of this day, I embrace EVERY DAY with love and peace: my Savior died for me. Even more importantly, I fill every day with hope: my Savior lives. Wishing you a day of strength, peace, and hope as you reflect on your blessings!

Insights and Inspiration: The High Road Is the One with the View

Sheila (not her real name) gave me the “hairy eyeball” one Sunday at church. You know the look—the scowl with the eyebrows touching. I was in my early twenties, a young mom, happy as a lark, and excited about my life—except on that Sunday, when I could see Sheila from my peripheral vision, glaring at me a few pews away. She was probably scowling at somebody else, I figured, as I really didn’t know her. The following Sunday, though, the scowl was unmistakable: it was definitely aimed in my direction. I chalked it up to Sheila having a bad day. But as the weeks wore on, Shelia’s snares and glares expanded into whispered gossip, or sighs uttered just loud enough for me to overhear.

What would you have done if you were me? Ignore Sheila completely? Start a hairy eyeball campaign of your own? I chose to apply the three rules I’ve learned to dealing with miscommunication, offenses, and “hurts.” (I didn’t know there were three rules at the time, but after years of working with people, they’ve definitely emerged as rules!)

For me, the choice was easy and it starts with the first rule: If you have offended someone, go to that person and ask two simple questions, “Have I done something to offend you? And if I have, what can I do to make it right?” Or if you have been offended, go to that person and let them know what they have done and how it has affected you. Either way you are in control of your own situation. I have found that confronting the situation in a loving way astonishes most people, but it can also work wonders. In Sheila’s case, she stammered out a response, working hard not to meet my eyes, then she admitted, “You’re just SO bubbly and happy all the time. Happy, happy, happy! And it bothers me. I’m just NOT that way.”

Wait a second. Sheila didn’t like me because I was too happy? This is where the second rule of learning to deal with “hurts” comes into play: Come to peace with the fact that you won’t be able to make everyone like you. After you’ve been as fair, open, and honest as possible, and given people an opportunity to air a difference, sometimes they’ll still choose to hold a grudge. But make that their choice, not yours!

And finally, rule three—this one’s the trickiest to implement, but the simplest to grasp (and we all know it): if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. It’s true! Though I’m not perfect, I’ve learned over 25 years of working with thousands of people that taking the high road delivers the most beautiful view. It’s often the most challenging hike to take, but the high road means forgoing gossip or speculation, or tossing barbs even when you feel completely justified. The view you’ll be rewarded with for your discretion is one of peace, strength, and true friendships based on trust.

I’ve been thinking a lot about these three rules lately and how well they’ve served me over the years. I don’t know where Sheila is today, but I’m glad I asked her if I had offended her because she felt heard and even though we didn’t become best friends, and I‘m at peace—even if she chose to dislike me. And I’m grateful I sealed my lips when tempted to toss off a hurt of my own. Taking the low road is easy, but taking the high road is right; I’ve faced it again and again over the years when I’ve seen pettiness, competition, or insecurity. I wish you the same as you work with the three rules: forgive, forget, and enjoy the view!